When we’re little we want so much to be grown up. As a little girl, you try on your mom’s shoes. You put on makeup. You can’t wait for the day when you can finally drive. What’s interesting is that when you finally become an adult, with adult responsibilities, you wish for nothing more than to be able to go back to when you didn’t have any worries greater than choosing the right bowl for your Cookie Crisp cereal so you could finally sit down to watch Superfriends on Saturday morning cartoons.
This whole scenario got me thinking about how I’m always wanting to fast forward to when things are different or settled. I wish my future self could somehow send me a message to tell me to just enjoy how things are now because the future comes with even more complications. Now, part of me knows that will probably be the case, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to fast forward like I did when I was a kid.
What is it within us that causes this desire in the first place? Is it the uncertainty of our present lives? Is it the “grass is always greener” approach when thinking about the future? How do I turn this off? Would knowing the complications of my future life cause me to make different choices or is it already mapped out? It’s almost as if it’s an unconscious occurrence that I am powerless to prevent from happening.
The present me thinks back to the me of the recent past with a different perspective. I reminisce about enjoying a morning jog in the quiet neighborhood near my apartment. I cherish knowing that at the time in my past I had financial security along with a steady job. The problem then was that I wanted something more. Maybe it’s those wants that causes the future fast forward phenomenon to jump into action. Part of me now can already recognize that with change comes a lot of unknowns. My goal then needs to be to learn to find that pause button so I don’t miss something my future self looks back on as a fond memory.