Let me paint you a picture. You swipe through a plethora of pictures on an online dating site. Every so often, you come across one that you find attractive. You view all his pictures, read his profile, and then, and only then, do you swipe right. This is to indicate that you are interested in this person. You continue on most of the time, going through pictures of a myriad of men. Every so often, when you finally swipe right, you are instantly notified that it’s a mutual match. Sometimes you’ll find out later that’s the case. Either way, this is typically when the conversation between two people begins.
You go through the typical questions – What do you do for a living? How long have you lived in the area? Where in the area are you located? (Most of the time it is RARE to meet someone who lives anywhere close to you.) How is the site treating you? What do you do for fun? The list goes on and on. It usually feels like you’re at a job interview, but, this time, the job you’re applying for is girlfriend.
If things go well, you eventually exchange numbers because it’s a pain in the ass to keep logging into an app to communicate with someone. Texting is soon initiated, however there are times you go “old school” and end up actually talking on the phone. I know…crazy! In my opinion, you definitely don’t want to date someone whose voice annoys the hell outta you, so a phone call is warranted.
As things develop, you both decide you’re comfortable enough to meet. In my case, you make sure you look and smell nice. You arrive on time and have one thought running through your head as you are about to meet this person – “Please, for the love of G-d, let him look like his pics!!” You’d think this wouldn’t be an issue. After all, you’ve viewed his profile, talked to him, and now will actually meet in person to confirm everything is as it should be. Here is where the EPIC FAIL occurs. This might shock you, but PEOPLE ARE DISHONEST ABOUT WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE IN THEIR ONLINE DATING PROFILES!!!
When your date doesn’t look like their pictures, this is referred to as “catfishing.” It’s that old bait and switch trick. They lure you in with pictures that depict them at their prime. In some cases this can be 20+ years ago. The problem is, you have no way to know until you arrive. What fascinates me is that when you match up with someone and things go well, you will eventually MEET THEM IN PERSON. Do these idiotic people (both men and women) not think you’ll notice?! Do these idiotic people not think you’ll mind being lied to & deceived before you’ve even met?
I have always been honest about who I am and what I look like in my profile pictures. I’ve been told many times that I either look just like my pictures or better than them in person. Well DUH! The reason is because my pictures are current. They were not taken by the Bigfoot photographer. I do not have five people in my pictures causing them to guess which one is me. I’m not wearing sunglasses to hide my weird-looking eyes. (That’s happened too many times to count!!) I’m not wearing hats in all my pictures to hide my hair, or lack thereof. (..and to clarify, I find bald men very attractive, but don’t get me started on the fantastic mullets I’ve seen.) The list of picture “don’ts” could go on and on. The point is, be the person you represent yourself to be online and this process would be a whole lot easier.
There are many more dating shenanigans that I’ll be posting soon, but I wanted to give you some insight into the world of single life today. It is NOT an easy thing. It gets exhausting being rejected over and over. It’s sad how many times you are completely disrespected on a regular basis. I don’t date a lot. When I am told that I’m trying too hard, I want to slap someone. One date in two months is not trying hard. I don’t date just to get a meal. I am one of the few actually looking for something worthwhile. To be told that the right one will come along when I least expect it may seem like good advice, but it trivializes the effort I put in each time I meet someone. Again, I’m honest about who I am and what I look like. I’m an open book and am happy to discuss any topic as long as the person is talking with me and not at me. What you must realize is that most people aren’t like that. In addition, I am never approached in public by any men, which means that the only way, most of the time, to even meet a guy is online. Do I like it? HELL NO! In today’s world, however, there is no online dating…there is just dating. The online portion of it is just the reality that allows two people who would not have otherwise crossed paths to get to know one another.
My advice is be kind to the single population. It takes a great deal of strength to put yourself out there time and time again. I, for one, am taking a break for a bit. If someone comes into my life and dazzles me, then I’d be open to it, but I’d rather be single and happy than dating and frustrated.