When I was a kid, I remember seeing adults doing all their “adulting” things and thought how much I looked forward to the time when I would be a grown up because then I’d have all the answers. Fast forward to adulthood, and I quickly realized that there isn’t a single adult who has all the answers. Not a one! In fact, most are just making things up as they go along. That’s just what you do. What happens as an adult though, is you sometimes forget that everyone is in the same boat, yet it appears, from afar, that maybe one person has figured this whole thing out. They must know something I don’t. It is from those people that I try to seek advice in hopes that they would help me navigate the pitfalls of decision making.
Over the years, I’ve gotten some pretty good advice, especially from my family. When I was learning to drive, my mom told me never to assume someone is turning just because they have their blinker on. I’m sure that has saved me from a few accidents. Whenever I was trying to find something I lost, my dad would always tell me that it would be in the last place I looked. ***Stares directly at camera*** When I was trying out for colorguard in high school and my flag kept rolling up during a basic spin, my sister, who had been in colorguard and had already graduated years before, told me to just figure out what I’m doing and don’t do it anymore. You think? Finally, there’s my brother. He’s given me a lot of advice over the years too, but some recent advice of his has really given me a sense of peace, so I thought I’d share it in case it helps you as well.
Given the current state of the world, I have found that I have begun to second guess every life decision I’ve made at one point or another. I guess not being able to be as social as we’ve been in the past leaves you with too much time with your own thoughts. As I’m sure you already know, mine can be quite dizzying. When my brother and I were discussing things such as the future of my job/company, having to find another apartment to move into this fall when my lease is up, or even the idea of moving to a new town/state and going after a dream, I told him that I’m so afraid of making a wrong decision again. What he said has stuck with me since that day.
He told me that there are no right or wrong decisions; there are just decisions. You make one and maybe it works out. Maybe it doesn’t. Hopefully you learn from it. Sure, some of the decisions you might regret. Hell, they may be downright scary, but at least you made one. I’ve always been of the mindset that I’d rather regret something I’ve done rather than something I haven’t. Taking away the panic of making a wrong decision and just making a decision really struck a chord with me.
Our lives are basically a Choose Your Own Adventure book. The only difference is that when you’d read one of those books, for those of you who remember them, you’d make a decision and then hold the place (or places) in the book just in case you didn’t like the outcome. Sadly, you can’t do that in real life…well, except by “what if-ing” yourself to death. Yep! Guilty!
Oh to have discovered the road less traveled. What would it have been like to take a left instead of a right? What if you didn’t end that relationship? What if you finally chased that dream? What if you’d taken that job you turned down or never left a job in the first place? Like I said, the “what-if” game can be all-consuming at times.
So here you are. You make a new decision. Who knows, maybe you’ll be surprised when things turn out better than expected. Maybe you learn a lesson so HUGE that its effects change others’ lives, possibly in ways they couldn’t have imaged. It could be that this one choice, however insignificant it may seem, could send your life down a path that leads to the adventure of a lifetime. There is no way to know when making a decision how it will turn out. So, I implore you to stop worrying so much, and follow my brother’s advice. Good or bad, it’s a decision, and it’s a step forward. Let the adventure continue!
Thorny Issues 